They called the new hires “copper-tops” owing to the color of our hardhats. The government meat inspectors wore red. They wandered around and picked through the bins of meat with a hook. Mostly though, they just sat in the office drinking coffee with the supervisors. I envied the job of the inspectors, but … Continue reading Inside the Pig Palace
Not Your Father’s Post Office
I had a pleasant conversation with a customer, an English professor, about my work at the post office yesterday. He had been encouraging his son, a bit wayward I imagined, to apply for a job as a mailman or “letter carrier” as they call us even though, truth be told, we don’t actually deliver that … Continue reading Not Your Father’s Post Office
Birdhouse
A storm passed overnight and the strong winds blew down the birdhouse that Miles and I had constructed over the winter from some old boards in the basement. I've never been much of a carpenter. The boy stood beside me as I lifted the quaint, but shoddy, peak-roofed box from the ground. I had … Continue reading Birdhouse
Homeland Security
I got a text from my wife that there was some drunken homeless person in our alley. She had called the police but they were too busy to send anyone out. I didn't notice the message until I was almost done with my shift. I figured everything was fine. It was one of those … Continue reading Homeland Security
Primatology
I walked down the hallway to my room. As I passed the bathroom, I saw my mother press her wedding ring into my father’s hand. “I can’t take anymore,” she said. “I’ve had enough.” He laughed at her and tried to give it back. I continued to the sanctuary of my bedroom and closed … Continue reading Primatology
What’s in Ohio?
My grandfather is dead now. I never got to know him very well. I suppose I could have made more of an effort but I had my own problems. My mother’s family all lived out East. We never visited them. I think my father feared that if we went out there he would be the … Continue reading What’s in Ohio?
Daydreaming About Frank Lloyd Wright
I paused in my rounds the other day to admire a house on my route a bit more closely. For the first time, I recognized it as a Prairie-style house with its Craftsman details, hip roof, broad eaves and abundant windows. It was exactly the sort of home I had long fantasized about owning, aside … Continue reading Daydreaming About Frank Lloyd Wright
Miles to Go and No Reindeer to Guide Me
There are many acts of parenting performed out of societal pressure (circumcision, vaccinations, dental examinations, public school) that, given your offspring’s reaction, seem like abuse. Not the least of these is placing your child on the lap of the department store Santa. That was the result. A toddler betrayed by his caregivers, screaming in absolute … Continue reading Miles to Go and No Reindeer to Guide Me
Mouse Trouble
I’ve yet to slaughter any cats, but I once killed a mouse in front of my son with a tennis racket. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt as satisfied in my manhood as at that moment, or so attuned to nature. We can admire the songbirds with our binoculars, but it is worth … Continue reading Mouse Trouble
A Thing of Beauty (Part II)
Over the course of my adulthood, I’ve run seven marathons. The last one was three years ago, just to show that I could do it--the same reason that I ran the first one. I won’t embarrass myself by bragging about my times. I will say that I beat then-governor Tim Pawlenty in the Twin Cities … Continue reading A Thing of Beauty (Part II)
